Skip to main content

Only Once


 I only have once to do it 

But I won't


I only have once to notice

But I will be blind


I only have once to listen

But I will ignore


I only have once to play

But I will work


I only have once to be patient

But I will be angry


I only have once to get it right

But I will fail


I only have once

To be what they need

Because, you see

They are a child only once


I know what I should do, but

Fear

Shame

Pride

Exhaustion

Worry

Doubt

Frailties

They will all get in the way


I will try with every fiber

Despite all failures

And shortcomings

To be what they deserve


I hope the day will come

That they will understand

The battles fought

That they never saw


I hope they will understand

That they will have compassion

That they will forgive

And find healing knowing


Knowing that I did it all

Worked

Feared

Worried

Cried

Fought

Prayed

Stayed

Because I am a father


And despite my failures

I will never stop trying

I will never stop fighting

Because I am a father


And a father's love never sleeps

Never stops protecting

Never gives up

Never ends


After all,

A father's love

Was fashioned

After the Father of all


So only once is all I need

to show you

That I may fail

Buy my love never will


Credit

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Mother’s Day Tribute

Who is She? Who is She? That stood in the halls of the Gods Whose voice rang out with courage  To defend the Plan and the right  To choose progression over oppression Who is She? Who was God’s culminating creation  Remembered eternal truths  And partook of the fruit So that we might be Who is She? That spoke to an angel Became a chosen vessel And delivered Him in birth So that He could deliver us all  Who is She? Who was a sinner But recognized the Savior And offered her tears and hair To prepare Him for the cross Who is She? Who discovered the empty tomb Heard the angels proclaim His triumph Refused to leave without Him And was the first to see Him  Who is She? Who was the first transcriber  Gently peeled the tar and feathers Lost so many children  And gave her husband to Carthage  Who is She? Who loves despite betrayals Forgives and heals wounds Defends the v...
Post a Comment
Read more

Let's Address the MOM in the Room

On August 24, 2012 I married the love of my life in the Manti Utah Temple. It is without a doubt one of the best days of my life. The two pictures below have come to be my absolute favorite from our wedding.  If you've never been to the Manti Utah Temple it is on top of a very large, very steep hill (you can see the full size of it in the first picture of this post). These pictures do not do justice to just how tall and steep it is. Our photographer caught these two candid shots while we were climbing back up the hill after taking some photos at the bottom. It was very difficult for Emma to walk up the hill in her wedding dress, and her feet kept slipping. It was very slow going, because we did not want her to fall and get a grass stain on her dress. I had to help push her up the hill and keep her from falling when she slipped.  Over the years these two pictures have become beautifully symbolic of our marriage.  Our marriage is what may be ca...
2 comments
Read more

Seeing it From the Other Side

I'm sitting at home having missed work for two days now, because I'm sick. My throat is sore and swollen, my joints hurt, and I've completely lost my voice. Even whispering is painful. So, what do I do? Take meds, sip on hot lemon and honey water, wear sweats all day, take frequent naps, and work on the blog post I didn't get done for this week, of course. It has been almost 5 years since I came out to Emma about my being gay. As if that wasn't hard enough for her to learn, it also came with years of baggage and heartbreaking, earth shattering, trauma-inducing confessions.  It's curious how, despite the fact that I have publicly shared a lot about our marriage and my personal struggles in our Voices of Hope video and essays, I still find myself feeling nervous and vulnerable writing about it here. I think there will always be a level of those feelings when I talk about all of that. I don't think it's very easy to talk about the not-so-shiny and ugl...
Post a Comment
Read more