Living In The Mix

I'm sitting at home having missed work for two days now, because I'm sick. My throat is sore and swollen, my joints hurt, and I've completely lost my voice. Even whispering is painful. So, what do I do? Take meds, sip on hot lemon and honey water, wear sweats all day, take frequent naps, and work on the blog post I didn't get done for this week, of course. It has been almost 5 years since I came out to Emma about my being gay. As if that wasn't hard enough for her to learn, it also came with years of baggage and heartbreaking, earth shattering, trauma-inducing confessions.  It's curious how, despite the fact that I have publicly shared a lot about our marriage and my personal struggles in our Voices of Hope video and essays, I still find myself feeling nervous and vulnerable writing about it here. I think there will always be a level of those feelings when I talk about all of that. I don't think it's very easy to talk about the not-so-shiny and ugl...

Two weeks ago, the Elders Quorum in my ward held it's monthly game night. This is an activity that our quorum started doing several months ago. This was my second time going to the activity, and I had a great time. It was a room of guys playing a geeky space conquest board game while eating junk food on a Saturday night. No big deal, right? For the other men there that night it may have been just a regular night out with other guys, but for me it meant a bit more. You see, I was the only (openly and known) gay man there that night, and it was the first time in my life that I walked into a social situation with straight guys and felt comfortable and like I was part of the group.  32 years old, and I was finally able to experience that connection.   I didn't realize it or think about it until after the night had ended and I had returned home. I went into the bedroom, and when Emma woke up I talked to her about how the evening went. I apologized to her...